Comparing Dating Cultures in American and the Middle East

Frank Jiang
Interviewed: Marwa Adina
December 18th, 2017



Without a doubt, there are distinct differences that surface when comparing two different cultures. In America, we are true to our freedom and thus, the dating culture in our country is reasonably more open-minded.

What do individuals look for in a partner? In American dating culture, characteristics such as race, social status, or economic status is considered superficial. Therefore, when Americans look for a partner, they tend to overlook these features and desire genuine traits instead.

However, it is not to be misunderstood. It is not that dating culture in the Middle East ONLY takes success and wealth into consideration into account when choosing a partner. It is simply that they, especially the parents, often want the best for their children. That being said, arranged marriage is something that often results from such parental expectations.

Parents, especially first generation immigrant parents, almost always have the expectation that their children must date or marry a partner of the same race. This is due to the way that they were raised. Without having any experience in American culture, of course parents would resort to conventional means of dating. In my case, being of Asian descent, my mother would always encourage me to date or marry an Asian woman. I have vocally informed her time after time that while I understand where she is coming from, I do not completely agree with her stand on what to look for in a partner.

Parents are often misconstrued with the idea that wanting the best for their children is equivalent to what will make their children happy. This is a huge confusion. First generation parents not having knowledge of American culture is a main problem to this dilemma. Their children are most likely assimilated into American culture, which means that they form their own opinions and decide their own actions. This means that what the parent wants for the their children is necessarily always going to be what the children want for themselves. Marwa, explains this from her own perspective.  

During the interview, Marwa has informed me that her parents are very much similar to mine. They pressure her slightly into dating because she is "reaching that age." They also are not on the same page of who she should date and who she should not. And while she fully respects her parent's traditional way of thinking, Marwa prefers to have the freedom of choosing a partner based on her free and independent will. 

Choosing a partner is something that the individual should decide. They should not be pressured by parental expectations nor superficial social expectations. Like most things, dating is a learning process. An individual learns and grows through mistakes and hardships. Parents should let their child experience this rather than force a stranger upon them. It is ridiculous for someone to think that true happiness could be a product of arranged dating or marriage. 

Stepping out of one's comfort zone almost does no harm, especially in the dating scene. Everybody goes through a breakup and everyone will have their problems, but experience is a prerequisite in conquering such adversity. There is absolutely nothing wrong in seeing what you truly want. And nothing should sway you otherwise.